RJ and Lyric here.
Recently, we have realized how nice time with each other is. I mean, we’re two months into marriage so of course we love spending time with each other. But as we have been thrown right into the midst of busyness and work and discipling others, we have somehow lost our times together. I forgot how life-giving it is just spending a whole day with Lyric and escaping life with her. The past two weekends we have been blessed with no BSHOP or family commitments. Both of those things, work and family, are great and we love and and need them, But Lyric and I have realized how we can so easily fill our lives with so many “good things” that we soon have no time or energy left for each other. Man, is that a humbling realization.
If I am being completely honest with you, these two months have been extremely hard. We’v recognized how ministry truly will take every ounce of time and energy you give it.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I love the opportunity to poor into the BSMS students as well as the students at Resurgence. I love living here on the West Side and pouring into my neighbors. But I also love Lyric, and I have realized that if I don’t set up boundaries and block out chunks of time to just be together, they won’t happen. That is just the reality of it. Not that we regret being resident directors (RD’s), because we don’t. And I don’t regret coming on staff. Lyric and I can both look back on our lives and it is extremely clear that God let us to this point. We are right where He wants us. We’ve also realized that amidst all these “good things”, the “best thing” is our marriage. We need to give that first priority above everything else.
What does that mean, exactly? We don’t know. After all, we’re only two months into this thing. 🙂
But it does mean maybe not eating meals with the students every night, even though it cuts our grocery bill in half. How convenient to have people making three meals a day for you seven days a week! It means allowing ourselves to not be the BSMS students babysitters. Acknowledging that they are adults and can handle their problems on their own, while still walking alongside them through their struggle, is not always the first thought that comes to mind. It is so easy just to fix the problem. But they experience community in such a deeper way when they are forced to struggle through the tough parts of community together. Maybe it means planning a Friday night student life event (SLE) so that we get a whole day on Saturday together. Maybe no more worship team for Lyric at church. Maybe only one family commitment a month. Maybe it is something we haven’t even thought of yet.
So, no, Lyric and I don’t have all the answers. Yes, at times it does feel like more than we can handle. Perhaps it is. But we know this is right. We’re continuing to learn day-by-day how to actually be married We’ve learned it is much easier said than done. The blessing is that we are figuring this all out together.
Some Praise and Prayer points
1. Praise for an amazing Fall Fest. Some of the kids from Resurgence came and they loved it.
2. Praise that those same kids are also getting involved with a local church’s youth group, Resurrection Fellowship Church.
3. Praise for safe travels for the BSMS students to Colorado. Pray that this trip bonds them together and strengthens their unity.
4. Prayers for Lyric and myself as we continue to walk and talk through the struggles of marriage and ministry.
Thanks for your prayers. We’d love to stay connected. Lyric and I love warm drinks this time of year. We’d love to grab something warm with you and catch up.
RJ and Lyric